Legally Blonde

Season 3 Episode 8

It's a cup a soup this week. A short episode where I draw upon one of my favourite films to illustrate how I can get tangled up in the drama of the courtroom in my mind - I'm captivated by the cut and thrust of the arguments for the prosecution and defence. turns out I'm so captivated by their arguments that I'm not noticing the real world and how I'm showing up. 

Hear a question I like to ask myself when I notice my mind going into Judge "The Honorable Marina R Bickford" Mode. Instead of asking "is it true?" I ask "is it helpful?".

This approach takes practice - we're not trying to get rid of our unhelpful thoughts. We consider them to be part of the human experience. What we're trying to do is notice when we're tangled up in a thought and help get back to the present moment to consider how we'd like to show up in the world.

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Show Notes

Legally Blonde is a 2001 American comedy film based on Amanda Brown's novel of the same name. It was directed by Robert Luketic and stars Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis, Victor Garber, and Jennifer Coolidge.

It is in my top five films of all time. 

LEMONGATE

Season 3 Episode 7

Well P-Soupers - the weeks are fair flying by. This week - using lemons - I try and show how we can develop stories that may impact in unhelpful ways on how we show up in life. This episode also introduces a little bit of Relational Frame Theory (RFT) which underpins Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) but don't be alarmed by the acronyms as it's really all about lemons. 

Advisory note: singing is involved.

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Show Notes

You can find Chris Winson's videos on the #365daysofcompassion group on facebook. You can also find #365daysofcompassion on twitter and instagram.

The book on the ACT Matrix is available here.

In this episode I talk about Derived Relational Responding and if we break that down,

Derived – because its functions and consequences are not contained in five senses experiencing.

Relational – this derivation is relational as it a result of framing one set of words or inner experiences with another set of words or inner experiences.

Responding – because there is a response in behaviour – which could be towards who we want to be or away from who we want to be.

You can listen to the Peter, Paul and Mary album here.

The Pen

Season 3 Episode 6

This episode could also be called, our inner and outer world. It presents a short exercise intended to illustrate the difference between the physical world, the world we experience with our five senses and our inner world.

If you'd like to have a go - make sure you have a pen and paper handy.

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Show Notes

Here's my new introductory blurb for the podcast - what do you reckon? Does this capture our purpose?

People Soup is a community of people who are interested in behavioural science at work and how we can make it accessible, fun and useful for ourselves and each other. At work, behavioural science has the capacity to enhance our wellbeing, help us be the person we want to be more often and provide us with perspectives to enable co-operation, collaboration and innovation. It was psychologist Abraham Maslow who said "A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting." That was the Inspiration for this podcastt. More than ever the world of work is a heady mix of people, behaviour, events and challenges. When the blend is right it can be first-rate. Behavioural science & psychology has a lot to offer in terms of recipes,  ingredients, seasoning, spices & utensils - welcome to People Soup.

The pen exercises was developed originally by Kevin Polk. I first came across it in this great video from Rachel Collis. 

Alasdair and Jamie's Extreme Ironing Challenge

You can read more about their antics here as well as donate to the Samaritans.

Whatever you're going through - a Samaritan will face it with you 24/7. You can call them on 116 123 or get in touch via their website.

And for fans of Corrie - here's a link to Jim McDonald's wikipedia page (played by Charles Lawson)

Exploring ACT training with Leo Hepler, Jaimie Persson & Paul Flaxman - Part 2

Season 3 Episode 5

The conversation continues with a focus on how to introduce the concept of skilfully relating to the content that our minds can produce, which is also known as cognitive defusion. We also how Jaimie uses her experience of the context of the ballet world in a way that is both curious  and cautious - she's keen not to make assumptions based upon her own experience. Paul reflects on the embodied nature of the new protocol, many people we train report feeling quite disconnected with sensations in their body. He also reveals how the Flaxman Manoeuvre was born. Leo, continues to reflect on the impact of the training on his life in his characteristic thoughtful and insightful way.

  

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Show Notes

Images of Leo by Amber Hunt for Photography by Ash

Flaxman Manoeuvre - the note below is our guidance for how to demonstrate this in a workshop.

"...we use two sheets of paper (see photos below). On one sheet we write something like, “Unhelpful thoughts, mood/ emotion, urges/impulses”. On the other sheet we write “Value” or “Personal Values”. To capture the aim of this training we say that these are things have the potential to influence our behaviour. We’ve looked at how personal values can provide a personally meaningful guide to daily behaviour. However, our thoughts and feelings can also influence our behaviour. We may intend to express a value in action, but when opportunities arise we might not feel much like it, or the mind might tell us to put it off until another time.

The trainer then moves the personal values sheet to the front while stating that a basic purpose of this training is to learn how to make personal values a more prominent guide to daily behaviour. Note that the unhelpful thoughts and feelings sheet does not move. The trainer points out that the unhelpful thoughts, feelings, and urges have not gone away. The message is that we will be developing a set of skills designed to help us relate more skilfully to these internal states, to ensure they do have an unhelpful or excessive influence over our behaviour." Flaxman & McIntosh, 2019

A lifetime of gentle returns - here's that quote in full from Kelly G Wilson, 2009.

No one lives in accordance with their values all the time. "Some days, some moments, we will be well oriented within that pattern [of living by our values]. Other days, other moments, we'll find ourselves at odds with our values. In that moment, the moment in which we notice that we're out of alignment with our value, can we pause, notice our dislocation and gently return? It's difficult to imagine a value of any magnitude that will not involve a lifetime of gentle returns."
Kelly G Wilson (2009) Mindfulness for Two