Start Close In

Season 2 Episode 21

It's a short episode this week - just under 4 minutes.

I present a poem that we often finish on in our workplace Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) training. It's one of my favourites called "Start Close In" by David Whyte.

For me, it really speaks to the processes of ACT and my experience of the challenges of taking the first step towards something that matters.

Why not have a listen?





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Show Notes

Here's the poem.

Start Close In by David Whyte

Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.

Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way of starting
the conversation.

Start with your own
question,
give up on other
people’s questions,
don’t let them
smother something
simple.

To find
another’s voice,
follow
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes a
private ear
listening
to another.

Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don’t follow
someone else’s
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don’t mistake
that other
for your own.

Start close in,
don’t take
the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.

What would Greta do?

Season 2 Episode 20

Here I reflect on the Swedish activist, Greta Thunberg. Greta has taken action on an issue that she cares about deeply. I draw upon the work of Steven Covey to consider how we can take action on issues that we're facing at work. There is definitely always one thing that we can control in our circle of influence - that is - how we show up.

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Show Notes

Follow Greta Thunberg on Twitter.

Watch Greta at TEDxStockholm

The episode of the podcast 99% Invisible called A year in the dark.

A visual of the circle of concern and the circle of influence.

Lauren May – the experience of caring for people with dementia

Season 2 Episode 19

This week, I welcomed our first guest of 2019 - a fellow organisational psychologist & talented researcher, Lauren May. Lauren presents her research on the lived experience of people at work who are also caring for loved ones with dementia. It's a great piece of research and a fascinating insight into the issues. The fact that many people who work also have caring responsibilities needs so much more exposure to enable us all to appreciate different situations and develop appropriate responses.

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Dementia Carers Count

Listening back to this episode - I thought it would be useful to share Brene Brown's wonderful talk on the power of vulnerability.

What are we swimming in?

Season 2 Episode 18

I reflect on my week in relation to a metaphor about fish swimming in water and relate it to us humans swimming in our thoughts.

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Values - Two Top Tips

Season 2 Episode 17

P-Soupers - here I draw upon some classics from the hit parade to share two of my top tips on working with values. It's not always easy and I use these two tips a lot myself so I thought you might find them useful too.

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Here's my Pigeon - from My ACT Auntie (and yours!) Thanks Louise.

You can find your Auntie @ActAuntie on twitter and also on facebook @ACTAuntie

More values work in S2 Episode 2- Exploring Values with Jonny Line


Values exercise

• Have a look through this list of values and see if any leap out at you - remember, this is a gut instinct exercise.
• Then have a think about how you could bring that value to life in your behaviour and have a go.
• You might also notice some of the unhelpful stuff that your mind produces. It's great to notice this as this content can sometimes influence our behaviour without us really noticing.
• Remember - you can always return to your values - in fact - you should expect many 'gentle returns'.

Values List [Copyright Russ Harris 2010]

1. Acceptance: to be open to and accepting of myself, others, life etc 
2. Adventure: to be adventurous; to actively seek, create, or explore novel or stimulating experiences 3. Assertiveness: to respectfully stand up for my rights and request what I want 
4. Authenticity: to be authentic, genuine, real; to be true to myself 
5. Beauty: to appreciate, create, nurture or cultivate beauty in myself, others, the environment etc 
6. Caring: to be caring towards myself, others, the environment etc 
7. Challenge: to keep challenging myself to grow, learn, improve 
8. Compassion: to act with kindness towards those who are suffering 
9. Connection: to engage fully in whatever I am doing, and be fully present with others 
10. Contribution: to contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or others 
11. Conformity: to be respectful and obedient of rules and obligations 
12. Cooperation: to be cooperative and collaborative with others 
13. Courage: to be courageous or brave; to persist in the face of fear, threat, or difficulty 
14. Creativity: to be creative or innovative 
15. Curiosity: to be curious, open-minded and interested; to explore and discover 
16. Encouragement: to encourage and reward behaviour that I value in myself or others 
17. Equality: to treat others as equal to myself, and vice-versa 
18. Excitement: to seek, create and engage in activities that are exciting, stimulating or thrilling 
19. Fairness: to be fair to myself or others 
20. Fitness: to maintain or improve my fitness; to look after my physical and mental health and wellbeing 
21. Flexibility: to adjust and adapt readily to changing circumstances 
22. Freedom: to live freely; to choose how I live and behave, or help others do likewise 
23. Friendliness: to be friendly, companionable, or agreeable towards others 
24. Forgiveness: to be forgiving towards myself or others 
25. Fun: to be fun-loving; to seek, create, and engage in fun-filled activities 
26. Generosity: to be generous, sharing and giving, to myself or others 
27. Gratitude: to be grateful for and appreciative of the positive aspects of myself, others and life 
28. Honesty: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others 
29. Humour: to see and appreciate the humorous side of life 
30. Humility: to be humble or modest; to let my achievements speak for themselves     
31. Industry: to be industrious, hard-working, dedicated 
32. Independence: to be self-supportive, and choose my own way of doing things 
33. Intimacy: to open up, reveal, and share myself -- emotionally or physically – in my close personal relationships 
34. Justice: to uphold justice and fairness 
35. Kindness: to be kind, compassionate, considerate, nurturing or caring towards myself or others 36. Love: to act lovingly or affectionately towards myself or others 
37. Mindfulness: to be conscious of, open to, and curious about my here-and-now experience 
38. Order: to be orderly and organized 
39. Open-mindedness: to think things through, see things from other’s points of view, and weigh evidence fairly. 
40. Patience: to wait calmly for what I want.
41. Persistence: to continue resolutely, despite problems or difficulties. 
42. Pleasure: to create and give pleasure to myself or others 
43. Power: to strongly influence or wield authority over others, e.g. taking charge, leading, organizing 
44. Reciprocity: to build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking 
45. Respect: to be respectful towards myself or others; to be polite, considerate and show positive regard 
46. Responsibility: to be responsible and accountable for my actions 
47. Romance: to be romantic; to display and express love or strong affection 
48. Safety: to secure, protect, or ensure safety of myself or others 
49. Self-awareness: to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings and actions 
50. Self-care: to look after my health and wellbeing, and get my needs met 
51. Self-development: to keep growing, advancing or improving in knowledge, skills, character, or life experience. 
52. Self-control: to act in accordance with my own ideals 
53. Sensuality: to create, explore and enjoy experiences that stimulate the five senses 
54. Sexuality: to explore or express my sexuality 
55. Spirituality: to connect with things bigger than myself 
56. Skilfulness: to continually practice and improve my skills, and apply myself fully when using them 
57. Supportiveness: to be supportive, helpful, encouraging, and available to myself or others 
58. Trust: to be trustworthy; to be loyal, faithful, sincere, and reliable 
59. Insert your own unlisted value here: 
60. Insert your own unlisted value here: 

A story about working with values

Season 2 Episode 16

Here I share a story from my life - about how I've worked with values. It's become quite popular in group training so I thought it was the right time to share it with the P-Soupers.

I talk about how I translated a value into action and share the associated unhelpful content that came up for me. I give some tips on how to shift the relationship with the thoughts that can be unhelpful and make values a more prominent guide to our action.

You can have a go using the list of values below and if you share the episode on LinkedIn, facebook, twitter or instagram by 17 January, you'll have a chance to win your own set of values cards. 

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Show notes

You can get your Diary for Valued Action from Dr Nic Hooper here - it's such a great investment for 2019!

Values exercise

• Have a look through this list of values and see if any leap out at you - remember, this is a gut instinct exercise.
• Then have a think about how you could bring that value to life in your behaviour and have a go.
• You might also notice some of the unhelpful stuff that your mind produces. It's great to notice this as this content can sometimes influence our behaviour without us really noticing.
• Remember - you can always return to your values - in fact - you should expect many 'gentle returns'.

Values List [Copyright Russ Harris 2010]

1. Acceptance: to be open to and accepting of myself, others, life etc 
2. Adventure: to be adventurous; to actively seek, create, or explore novel or stimulating experiences 3. Assertiveness: to respectfully stand up for my rights and request what I want 
4. Authenticity: to be authentic, genuine, real; to be true to myself 
5. Beauty: to appreciate, create, nurture or cultivate beauty in myself, others, the environment etc 
6. Caring: to be caring towards myself, others, the environment etc 
7. Challenge: to keep challenging myself to grow, learn, improve 
8. Compassion: to act with kindness towards those who are suffering 
9. Connection: to engage fully in whatever I am doing, and be fully present with others 
10. Contribution: to contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or others 
11. Conformity: to be respectful and obedient of rules and obligations 
12. Cooperation: to be cooperative and collaborative with others 
13. Courage: to be courageous or brave; to persist in the face of fear, threat, or difficulty 
14. Creativity: to be creative or innovative 
15. Curiosity: to be curious, open-minded and interested; to explore and discover 
16. Encouragement: to encourage and reward behaviour that I value in myself or others 
17. Equality: to treat others as equal to myself, and vice-versa 
18. Excitement: to seek, create and engage in activities that are exciting, stimulating or thrilling 
19. Fairness: to be fair to myself or others 
20. Fitness: to maintain or improve my fitness; to look after my physical and mental health and wellbeing 
21. Flexibility: to adjust and adapt readily to changing circumstances 
22. Freedom: to live freely; to choose how I live and behave, or help others do likewise 
23. Friendliness: to be friendly, companionable, or agreeable towards others 
24. Forgiveness: to be forgiving towards myself or others 
25. Fun: to be fun-loving; to seek, create, and engage in fun-filled activities 
26. Generosity: to be generous, sharing and giving, to myself or others 
27. Gratitude: to be grateful for and appreciative of the positive aspects of myself, others and life 
28. Honesty: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others 
29. Humour: to see and appreciate the humorous side of life 
30. Humility: to be humble or modest; to let my achievements speak for themselves     
31. Industry: to be industrious, hard-working, dedicated 
32. Independence: to be self-supportive, and choose my own way of doing things 
33. Intimacy: to open up, reveal, and share myself -- emotionally or physically – in my close personal relationships 
34. Justice: to uphold justice and fairness 
35. Kindness: to be kind, compassionate, considerate, nurturing or caring towards myself or others 36. Love: to act lovingly or affectionately towards myself or others 
37. Mindfulness: to be conscious of, open to, and curious about my here-and-now experience 
38. Order: to be orderly and organized 
39. Open-mindedness: to think things through, see things from other’s points of view, and weigh evidence fairly. 
40. Patience: to wait calmly for what I want.
41. Persistence: to continue resolutely, despite problems or difficulties. 
42. Pleasure: to create and give pleasure to myself or others 
43. Power: to strongly influence or wield authority over others, e.g. taking charge, leading, organizing 
44. Reciprocity: to build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking 
45. Respect: to be respectful towards myself or others; to be polite, considerate and show positive regard 
46. Responsibility: to be responsible and accountable for my actions 
47. Romance: to be romantic; to display and express love or strong affection 
48. Safety: to secure, protect, or ensure safety of myself or others 
49. Self-awareness: to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings and actions 
50. Self-care: to look after my health and wellbeing, and get my needs met 
51. Self-development: to keep growing, advancing or improving in knowledge, skills, character, or life experience. 
52. Self-control: to act in accordance with my own ideals 
53. Sensuality: to create, explore and enjoy experiences that stimulate the five senses 
54. Sexuality: to explore or express my sexuality 
55. Spirituality: to connect with things bigger than myself 
56. Skilfulness: to continually practice and improve my skills, and apply myself fully when using them 
57. Supportiveness: to be supportive, helpful, encouraging, and available to myself or others 
58. Trust: to be trustworthy; to be loyal, faithful, sincere, and reliable 
59. Insert your own unlisted value here: 
60. Insert your own unlisted value here: 

Positive Pioneers - Bailey & French - Part 2

Season 2 Episode 15

This is Part 2 of my conversation with Joshua French and Jonny Line, who pioneer the use of positive psychology in organisations at Bailey and French.

We begin by mulling over the ways we make the evidence base accessible and relevant through our training. The chaps then take us through the PERMA model and how they bring it to life in organisations. 

To finish off the episode (and the year), Joshua and Jonny each share excellent takeaways that we can all have a go at. 

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Show Notes

Bailey and French website.

Learn more about the PERMA Model.

Relationships (the 'R' of PERMA) - Jane Dutton on the importance of relationships - https://positiveorgs.bus.umich.edu/micro/jane-dutton/
Meaning (the 'M' of PERMA) - Amy Wrzesniewski - different mindsets at work
https://som.yale.edu/faculty/amy-wrzesniewski
Accomplishment - (the 'A' of PERMA) - Carol Dweck - check out Carol's TED Talk - The power of believing that you can improve

Takeaways

Joshua's takeaway

Write down in one sentence, what you would say the purpose of your role is?


Ingredients

• Needs to be succinct
• Needs to feel really motivating
• Needs to feel accurate

Joshua's purpose - Lighting up the path to a brighter future.

Jonny's purpose - Helping people in ways that are relevant to them.

Ross' purpose - Making behavioural science accessible, practical, useful and fun to transform the workplace experience.

Jonny's takeaway

A little burst of psychological capital - it might be useful to write down your responses to these questions.

• think about something you are grateful for
• think about why you're grateful for that and what it is about that, that you're grateful for?
• What did you do to make that happen - to foster that situation?
• What could you do in the future that would have a similar impact or be useful in a similar situation?